Connect to others

April 4, 2011 (Manado, Indonesia) 

 I have just reviewed my last 5 months blogs below. There is a theme there that has been brought to my attention by a book I am reading: “Leadership and Self Deception” by the Arbinger Institute.” The theme I am seeing/feeling is that the critical action for a person who wishes to influence another is to be connected to that person at all levels of engagement.

1. For beginners it means that I must be totally present in the engagement: not thinking of other things, not worried about my next appointment, not looking at my vibrating i-phone.

2. Second, I must value the person as a person. How often have I look on another as just someone to get a job done, a bit of a robotic relationship? It is not that I discounted the person intentionally, but I did not “count” the person as a person but as someone who could get the job done.

3. Third, to do the first two I must truly value myself and who I am. I have found when I am crushing others it comes at times when I am feeling bad about myself and need another carcass to stand on so I can be a bit taller and self assured as I crush another. Whaaa, so sad. I need to think further on this and see if at the practical level I can practice this understanding.


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