“How to connect with others?”

July 25, 2013 (San Diego

            From my vantage point there is no particular formula for connecting with others, other than to connect with self first: Who am I being? What am I up to? When I am obsessed by these two questions or other related questions I am more worried about how I appear when around others. The focal point of my thinking is “me”. As such I am minimizing my ability to connect with others.

How can I become more comfortable with “me”? Be totally OK with “me” so I can aim my mental energy towards engaging with others. I will propose two things that have made a difference for me.

guy one

  1. Have a mission statement. See my April 1, 2010 and November 8, 2009 blogs. A mission statement helps me be clear about who I am and what I am doing. Helps me be a person of integrity by making my “yes” mean “yes”. A “yes” that is not at risk of negation by a subsequent more appealing opportunity. My mission statement also helps me sort out “good”, “better”, and “best” for me. This helps me say “no” with greater clarity and less worry: “will I miss out on something?”
  2. When connecting I am in a gift giving mentality rather than a “what is in it for me” mentality. I become a giver rather than a taker. A guru of time gone by said, “Help enough people get what they want and you will get what you want.”

In summary I am now clearer about who I am. I am giving a lot more than I am taking.  This allows me to get out of my head and my worries so I can connect with other people who are stuck in their head with their worries.

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